“Take ye wives, and beget sons and daughters; and take wives for your sons, and give your daughters to husbands, that they may bear sons and daughters; that ye may be increased there, and not diminished” says the Lord (via Jeremiah’s clay and stylus).
Two summers past, Mike and I had the fortune of witnessing parents of a fine young man make a proposal of intent, on behalf of their son, to parents of a daughter back home. Our mouths were agape. It was possibly the most beautiful scene of real life we’ve ever been a third party to.
It was if we’d taken a step into the world of Austen or Dickens (except we were bikers that weekend and I’m not sure leather chaps, and helmets translates favorably into a Dickens type character that I would wish to be) where children entrusted their future spouse to the wisdom of their elders, their parents.
A deal was made, all parties in agreement. We parted ways an hour or so later, crying, praying, contemplating and the respective parents of the projected couple were off to talk with their kids about the proposal.
Side note: The parents in the above story really didn’t make the choice. It was God’s selection. The children had trust in their parent’s godly authority to speak into their lives as young adults through submission to Christ. Everyone in our story had free will.
Out dated and uncivilized? Archaic, you say?
We would have too, several years ago but really, what better liaison could one have for negotiating a spouse then godly parents who know the deepest character of their children, what God gifted them to be and whom would befit them as a partner.
According to God’s word, we are to "find wives for our sons", and "give our daughters to husbands". Parents are not monsters that take pleasure in their children’s torment but exactly the opposite, so we can conclude they would skillfully, advisedly choose a life partner. Doesn’t a parent want the best for their children? Isn’t God a Parent? Doesn't He desire His Best for us?And isn’t our walk with Christ about submission and the yielding of self will. Is it not said that our relationships with others reflect our relationship to God? How beautiful to have children that tribute with faith and humility, their parents.
See the heavenly connection? The Son submits to the Father, The Father loves the Son.
Those kids are married now; loving their new spouse, and thanking their parents for wisdom and faith.